As you sneak into our room for yet another night of us playing musical beds, I know I should be convincing you to stay in your own.
With your freezing cold feet, kidney kicking and tendency to lay sideways which drives both Daddy and I to the brink of crazy, you force our hand. Sometimes one of us moves to another room..sometimes both..and there you are.. cozy as a bug, snuggled down in the big duvet.
You are one smart cookie.
Where else should you go when you love being warm and toasty and cuddly? (For the record, I love cuddling up to you too) Is it worth pushing you back to your bed when we know that this habit will be stopping soon anyways?
You see dear daughter, you are growing up so very fast. I blinked and you went from little girl to an O..M…G… trying to find your place in the world, Moooooommm, cuddling with mom in public is just too public, boy crushes and bully stuff, the ebbs and flows of female friendships, the you’re-not-coming-to-my-birthdays, the trying to keep quiet in class and focusing, the competitive at sports and working to make the team, learning responsibility chores, the teenager-esque schoolager.
You are giving Daddy and I some serious grey hairs (if only daddy had hair).
As much as I think we have a great ability to talk things through, I see in your eyes already a wavering self-confidence.
You are 7.
I see those intense personalities in your life and how mean they can get with you. I find it hard to find that balance between explaining that many of them are dealing with their own issues and wanting to punch them in the face.
I see you struggle to understand Autism and why your brother acts so differently, pained one day when he is laughed at and embarrassed the next when the “cool kids” point out that he’s your brother.
I see you feeling caught. Mommy & Daddy talk about the importance of having each others back and protecting one another but I see you wonder where your support is? Why doesn’t he have your back? (We are working on it trust me) I see you burning hot with frustration more often than not lately in how he doesn’t adhere to typical aged kid behaviour.
I see you trying to be that strong girl and the beauty of your heart when you fight on behalf of the underdog. I will keep filling your bucket with reinforcements on that one but I need you to believe it yourself more because you are most definitely strong.
I see you challenged by the desire to be part of the beauty squad. Those friends who are already into make-up, hair and looking so fancy. You think Mommy & Daddy totally don’t get it when we start talking about the importance of natural beauty and inner beauty. I see you rolling your eyes.
I see you having to deal with so much of this when it feels all together way too early.
I see us as parents wanting to instill Kindness, Strength, Confidence, Loyalty, Work ethic as core values in your world and I see you decidedly convinced that we are aliens from another planet.
All we want is for you to see what we see. A beautiful, kind, protective, effervescent young girl…who steals the covers.