Real Life

Moody Blues & Seeing Red. Period.

Feeling the blues

Why women need to talk more openly about our ever-shifting hormones.

I am bleeding out like the elevator scene in the Shining.

I just cried my way through Avengers: Infinity War.

I hit a level of blue monthly that I don’t even recognize myself when it comes. Really unkind words come into my head that I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy.

I am as horny as teenager and have a fervour for sex similar to an animal in heat, while friends have zero interest in even a kiss.

I am a member of the Walking Dead, having not slept a full night sleep in months.

I have actively put myself in a time out to prevent losing it on my family. Sometimes I don’t make it in time.

I ask you people? What the fresh hell is this? What in the world of Aunt Flo is going on here?

Photo Credit: Antonio Arcos

Hormones. I am officially bemoaning the ‘Mones.

I know, probably too much information. You don’t really need to know any of this. But I think if you are a woman in her 40’s, you maybe do. You do, so you know that you are not alone in the myriad of challenges you are facing at the moment.

I am sharing this stuff because I have felt alone.

Surprisingly alone in trying to grasp how to process all of this.

I have spent more time than I want to admit searching the Googles on a laundry list of what happens when your hormones reek havoc on your system.

Emotional toll of perimenopause
Photo credit: Luis Galvez

I manage through this kind of stuff by wanting to talk about it. Yet when I bring up anxiety, depression, peri-menopause or sex, I immediately see people shirking away from having a conversation about it. Why? Why do we carry so much shame when it comes to our bodies, our mental health and how we are functioning in each phase of our life?

We live in a society full of perceived prettiness. Talking honestly about women’s health is something still so hushed up and hidden. Post-partum is JUST finally getting to the point of being discussed, a crucial support to Moms flooded with hormones. We need to let go of judgement & deeply-rooted stigmas. We need to stop focusing around how believe women SHOULD be and start focusing on the reality of how we ARE.

We need to know that This. Is. Normal.

Photo credit: Alex Povolyashko

Hormones hit us hard at all stages of life

We gotta figure this out. Nobody benefits from us putting on these shows that everything is ok. It’s not. At least it’s not for me. I am watching my daughter trying to figure out her hormones as she edges into teenage hood. She is having a tremendously difficult time identifying what is making her cry, what is making her mad and why the hell she suddenly feels so sad. I am watching a friend, post-partum, desperately not wanting to go down a path of depression when she worked so hard to have this baby in the first place. I am going through a phase in life that I am aware I am changing, but I don’t quite know how to manage it peacefully & quietly. Rather it seems to be a raging kind of roller coaster for all us. If we identify that hormones are a natural part of WHO we are, and that they can affect HOW we are, we might find ways to treat them (& ourselves) better.

How to handle hormonal imbalance?

When I went to the doctors recently to see what to do about these 2-3 blue days I have been experiencing every cycle, his response was shocking yet disturbingly expected.

I got an eye roll, a “well its OBVIOUSLY hormones” and an offer for an anti-depressant prescription.

For me, personally, that’s not on. I already feel that I have put enough medication into my system in my lifetime, if I can help it, I don’t want to add more. Instead, I am trying hard to figure this out naturally. I have signed up for Jenn Pike’s Hormone Project which covers off the foods we eat that affect hormones (I had no idea that gut & liver health influenced so much of our body & hormone function), our medical histories, exercise, tracking your cycle, movement, meditation and more. Our family are changing eating habits. I am laying off so much wine because I KNOW that is a direct hit to my system and my mental health. I am pushing myself to exercise more. I have started back meditating & working on gratitude every day.

I will keep you posted how these changes are affecting my ability to manage through this. The possible shifts in my well-being and finding a harmony in this process have me super stoked. I am looking forward to finding solutions that don’t bring such deep dives to my system.

I know, it all sounds messy. I sound messy. But honestly, I would rather be open and talk about how this is affecting me than hold any shame around it. And if YOU want to talk, well, do it.

I am always hear to listen.

Finding hope in hormone imbalance
Photo Credit: Raquel Raclette



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