How to Keep Intimacy Alive When Travelling as a Family
Back in the day when you were just a couple, your sex life was hot. SMOKING HOT.
Damn right it was. You had time. You had energy. Glasses of wine and late night dinners were THE perfect set up for a little fun between the sheets.
It was, in fact, a priority in your life.
Then kids came along and BAM! that priority gets taken over by about a dozen others. You try to remember the last time you guys had a real sex session, and you got nothing. Suddenly you are a very sad panda.
But wait! There is still one hope. One promise on the horizon that makes you think maybe, just maybe, the spark could be lit again, the flame fuelled to make that fire burn back into your relationship.
Ah vacation. Traveling to an exotic place, getting away from everyday life, time away. Sand, drinks, Heat. Even the sound of that sounds sexy.
Yet, travel can also pose the biggest challenge if you are on a trip with your kids. Hotel rooms often don’t have a lot of space, opportunities are not as readily available for parents to connect privately and Shit! the kids are around.
We are currently on a global adventure with our kids. Travelling the world for months on end. For us as a family? Awesome. For us as a couple? Between staying tiny camper vans, bunk beds, boats, hostels, hotel rooms and Air Bnb’s, we totally get it.
We got curious how couples manage intimacy in the face of travel.
And so we put out an informal survey to a number of different Facebook groups we are part of. Worldschoolers, Family travelers, and our general group of our friends all sent us back their most genius nooky knowledge.
How and where do you get your freak on in the light of kids being close?
The challenge was daunting, the creativity inspiring and here are the results:
Here is our Number #1 answer along with more than 50 adventures you can add to your travel itinerary the next time you head away.
Wet n Wild
- The Bathroom: In the shower, on the ledge of the tub, on the counter, on the toilet seat (Really? OK but please tell me the lid is down), against the wall (Seriously? How DO you DO that? You know, without accidentally taking down the shower rod or something??) and even on the floor. The floor of the bathroom? Man, intense times call for intense measures (Ew)
- In the Bed Beside Your Kids: Your “quiet” capabilities better be on their best behaviour if you’re going to try this. Consensus was that sideways, playing under the covers, missionary, or girl on top are all acceptable. Doggie style is an absolute no. If your kids somehow wake up, no amount of therapy will ever allow them to get that out of their heads. NO amount.
A Room with A View
- The Balcony is perfect so long as you have a curtain or something (again therapy people). Against the balcony, chair on the balcony (apparently nobody felt that any balcony table they have seen is strong enough to be that sturdy of a base), on the floor of the balcony, (with one responder even detailing how they stole a mattress from a poolside lounger – well played my friend, well played.
- This is of course is the ideal. I swear Air Bnb needs to market this as a core benefit. That said, one responder (who is also an Air Bnb host) is now traumatized thinking that her bedroom is being used as a boudoir.
Naughty by Nature
- Nature can be a fantastic venue. A blanket in the woods was our most popular answer but we also got under the stars, on a rock, in a cave (all I could think of was ..wait? Aren’t you worried about bats?), a loose flowing skirt and a picnic table, under a tree, against a tree, on a tree (can apparently often be the perfect height for some fun oral conversation), and one rockstar responder shared they even did it IN a tree. Hats off!
Sex on the Beach
- On the beach, in a beach cabana (exercise your rebel gene and sneak into one of these at night), in one of those massage huts, beach lounger (again, how daring you are depends sometimes how desperate but the option is there), beach bed, in the water (day OR night), poolside, dockside, beachside, any side, you get the picture.
Hide and Seek
- Send the kids off for a game. You only have a count to 100 so better pre-play that as much as possible before you play your own game of Hide.
- Change Rooms, public washrooms, airport washrooms in particular can get the vacation party started right, family rooms, stair wells, roof tops. Do you think anyone would ever fault you if you are caught if you just explained the challenge of doing it with the kids around?
- According to our pollsters, this is one of the best places for adults to play at night. At a campground, resort, what have you. Apparently its been done. We got swing set, the slide, monkey bars (man that is serious upper body strength), the stairs to the jungle gym, under the jungle gym and yes, someone even suggested the teeter totter. Hmmm.
Dinner for Two
- If you booked a villa, suite or Air Bnb then you have the added benefits of a kitchen inside your space. Perfect. Add the countertop, bar chairs, dining chairs and even the dining table to the mix. Who said dinner is the most delicious thing to be served on a table?
We joke about sex while traveling all the time. We might not be as adventurous as some who responded but man, we respect the hell out of their moxie to get it on when the mood is right.
Intimacy is something different for us these days. For sure we have the much needed, knockin’ boots, pent-up furiousness fix but we have also found other ways to keep connected. A surprise touch in the midst of the day. Gazing into each others eyes. Talking and laughing for hours. The bottom line is to have fun and to enjoy each other. We have found that THOSE moments are the most intimate of all.
Jenn, Chris, Spencer & Lauren are on a trip around the world. Their philosophy is to live big, love big and push out of their comfort zones. Their ethos is about supporting locally, learning more from nature and teaching their children the importance of global citizenship.